You Know You’re in South Carolina When…

You Know You're in SC When...

You know you’re in South Carolina when
Prodigal son Mark Sanford gets elected again!

He hiked the Appalachian Trail to political redemption
Because Jesus has granted him a moral exemption.

The party that defends the sanctity of marriage
Has imposed upon Justice a convenient miscarriage.

He abandoned our state with impunity–
Who knew that going AWOL grants immunity?

Second chances and salvation were strategic brilliance
And proved to be the foundation of his resilience.

That not much was made of his dereliction of duty
Turned his malfeasance into a thing of beauty.

He won the vacant seat of a Tea Party Activist
Because the electorate wanted a Conservative Lacktavist.

Let us not gnash our teeth nor pull out our hair
Nor throw in the towel in utter despair.

Let us praise democracy and be of good cheer–
Remember the term is for only one year.

The only problem, I really do fear,
Is that now that we’ve got him, he won’t disappear.

Photo Credit:



Filed under Political Commentary

5 responses to “You Know You’re in South Carolina When…

  1. Rita

    Politics aside, this is Seussian in its pith and perspicacity. Well done.


  2. Phil T

    To paraphrase – “Pity poor South Carolina, So far from Heaven, so close to Florida”


    • Ha! Porfirio Diaz would be proud of you! In spite of everything, I really do love South Carolina. It’s almost as nice as Orcas Island, but I think your summer weather is so much better than ours!


  3. Will Moredock

    I love South Carolina, too. And I love your poem. Drop me a line the next time you are in Chucktown. We’ll go out for some beer and oysters.



    • Thanks, Will! Will do, but we’ll have to find a place that makes “soy-sters,” since I’m still a vegetarian. Some of my best friends are vegetables! Ha!


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