“The Wish I Could Leave You Blues” came to me in a dream. The melody was beautiful and haunting, but like most brilliant insights gleaned from fevers or other hallucinatory states, it did not allow itself to be retrieved; luckily, I retained enough of the first stanza to recreate the lyrics, and then the rest of the song seemed to write iteslf. Perhaps a beautiful and haunting melody will one day blow in on a magical wind and become snagged on the ragged edges of this song.
If you turn me loose, you will not find me.
Please don’t think I’ll come back around.
Just like a ship, I’m heading for the high seas,
Out of fear I’ll run aground.
If you turn around, I will vanish.
Like a puff of smoke, I’ll blow away.
The only thing that keeps me here though,
Is the reason why I cannot stay.
It’s my illusions that keep me longing
For the bliss we’ll never share.
It wastes my time and it’s not worth it,
And it’s not your fault that you don’t care.
You can’t hate a man who doesn’t love you
But still lets you share his bed–
But you can despise your own self
For not getting that through your head.
I tell myself lots of lies like
You’re not mean, you’re just tired.
As your friend I feel unemployed, and
As your lover, like I’ve been fired.
I dread the day I’ll finally get going
When I’ll find the strength to leave
But what stops me every time is knowing
That I’m the only one who will grieve.
Photo Credit: A beached boat | An old fishing boat at Heswall | Richard Cooper …
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